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Ten
Best Caddie 'Comebacks'
10) Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
Caddy: "Think you can keep your
head down that long?"
9) Golfer: "I'd move heaven and
earth to break 100 on this course."
Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already
moved most of the earth."
8) Golfer: "Do you think my game
is improving?"
Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball
much closer now."
7) Golfer: "Do you think I can get
there with a 5 iron?"
Caddy: "Eventually."
6) Golfer: "You've got to be the
worst caddy in the world."
Caddy: "I don't think so sir. That
would be too much of a coincidence. "
5) Golfer: "Please stop checking
your watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction."
Caddy: "It's not a watch - it's a
compass."
4) Golfer: "How do you like my
game?"
Caddy: "Very good sir, but
personally, I prefer golf."
3) Golfer: "Do you think it's a
sin to play on Sunday?"
Caddy: "The way you play, sir,
it's a sin on any day."
2) Golfer: "This is the worst
course I've ever played on."
Caddy: "This isn't the golf
course. We left that an hour ago."
1) Golfer: "That can't be my ball,
it's too old."
Caddy: "It's been a long time
since we teed off, sir."
I've been reading a new book, if you would like to borrow it just
let me know. It's called, "The Useful Golf Book". It contains some
really good chapters that you could find handy this season such as:
* How to line up your fourth putt.
* How to hit a Top-Flite from the rough when you've hit a Titleist
from the tee.
* How to avoid the water when you lie 8 in the bunker.
* How to get more distance off the shank.
* Crying on the greens and how to handle it.
* How to rationalize a 7 hour round.
* How to find that ball that everyone else saw go in the water.
* Why your wife no longer cares that you birdied the 4th.
* How to let a foursome play through your twosome without being
embarrassed.
* How to relax when you're laying five and still in the tee box.
* God and the meaning of the triple bogey.
* When to re-grip your ball retriever.
* How to make others envy a 36 handicap.
* The fuzzier the head covers, the less meaningful the score.
* How to ruin your opponent's game concentration by chipping naked!
* Yes! You can drive a ball with a putter.
* How to win at golf and why you never will.